When you become a parent after your adorable marriage, there will be a part of you that nurtures a level of fear of not being able to bond adequately with your child as they grow.
You will find yourself asking questions like “Will my baby love me as it grows older?”, “Will I be able to provide the answers to all her questions in life?”, “Will I have a final say in his life as his beloved mother?”
The journey of parenting can be as beautiful as you have dreamt it to be before you had your first fruit of the womb. But as beautiful as it can be, it can also turn out otherwise if you miss it from the very beginning.
There can be so many rewards for you as a parent when you are able to establish bonds with your child. You will be able to have and enjoy intimate moments that will make your heart feel warmer every time you relive the memory. And in these moments you will have the powerful influence of helping them shape their great future.
The most important person in a child’s life is usually their parent or carer as the case may be. In you as their parent or carer, they see and filter through so many things they see every day in their surroundings. How you bond with them and show care is what will guide them into knowing that they can always trust you. This will also allow them to determine for themselves if they are secure and safe around you.
Below are some simple ways to help you build and maintain a special bond with Your child.
- Spending quality time with your child.
If you are ever going to reach a good level of special connection with your child. As a parent, you must start by first finding time for them. So, In your busy schedules. You must make time for one-on-one activities with your child. Take time to understand and engage in activities they enjoy doing. This could be playing games together, skipping the rope together, reading, or even going for a walk together. Doing this frequently helps nurture trust and open up rooms for adequate bonding. By making out time, it means you are prepared to be fully present during these moments. Therefore, always try your best to supply them with your undivided attention.
- Communication is key.
You do want to foster an environment where your child feels very comfortable and safe enough to express what they feel. Who they have feelings for and lots of other things a child would normally want to keep to themselves for fear of being ridiculed. As a parent who wants their child to be able to talk to them about just anything, you must first be an active listener. Be able to provide guidance without being judgmental. So even if you will not always agree with them, most times all a child just wants is some validation for their emotions. Therefore, before you totally condemn their action, let them know it’s OK to feel the way they feel then show them how they could have handled things better. With frequent open and sincere conversations, your child learns to always rely on you to give the best advice on whatever is bothering their mind.
- Be your child’s role model.
As a parent the things you say and every action you take daily in the presence of your child are often a direct guide to their behaviour and what they believe. This is why you must be conscious of what you do around your child. You should model good morals and values that you would want your child to take from you such as kindness, patience, and respect. Another way to be a good role model to your child is ensuring that you yourself are living a healthy lifestyle and ensuring your child does too. There are also a few things you can still do, like being a truthful parent, not being known for lateness, taking responsibility for your actions and so on.
- Showing affection.
To establish a good relationship with a young child, you must be able to show affection. It is every child’s easy-to-understand language. So, for a good bond between you and your child, you must work on emotional connection first and this often requires an exchange of physical care like frequent warm hugs. Another thing you can do when trying to nurture or establish a good bond with your child is to frequently and verbally communicate your love and admiration to them as often as you get the chance. This will make them feel valued and safe with and around you.
- Showing Support
A good way to bond with your child is to be their pillar of support, and you can easily achieve this in so many ways. A good way to start is supporting the interest you want to demonstrate a sincere interest in your child’s accomplishments, like asking them to briefly take you through how they passed a subject in class so well. Ask them about their areas of interest and hobbies too. Another way of showing support is encouraging your child to explore and develop their skills and grow in their areas of interest. And when they have a change of mind along the line, which is not uncommon with children, be there to help relieve the pressure of having to make a new decision. But it is also important to note that you are only there to guide them and not to impose your own thoughts on them.
Sharing a special bond with your child is every parent’s dream but it is a reality for older parents who already know what to do from their experience with their first or second child. It is often difficult for new parents but the few steps above can help you nurture and maintain a very good rapport and relationship with your child even after they have grown into adulthood.